He uses a hare dryer. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. Because they have green thumbs. A: Real rocks are too heavy! Want to hear a funny yolk?. What do you say to the smartest person you know on St. Patricks Day? Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. 1 less drunk at the party Except me mammy, of course!, Well then, says Seamus. Why make the Easter Bunny so lucky? A four-leave rover. Crypt o' Currency. The drunk scratches his head and says "Dang, I must be. If you live with younger siblings at home, wearing green on St. Patrick's Day is crucial for survival. Who's that guy who fought the buff leprechaun? Q: What happened when the leprechaun fell into the river Shannon? ", -Sammy Wilson. The family sold the milk to buy food and that's what kept them going. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. And hes out at the pubs, just getting shitfaced. Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. I said, what have you been up to? It Must Have Been Love (But It's Clover Now) by Sham-Roxette, Shamrock and Roll All Nite by KISS Me Im Irish, and Party on the Paddy-O by ZZ Green Top Hat. They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. "If you don't sleep with me, the leprechauns have already won." Rushing into the woods he finds a wee little man dressed in green sprawled on the grass. Irish Who? This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. What did the leprechaun say when No, the man replied. I dont have four leaves, but if you pluck me, Ill give you luck! What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head? Then he tried a girl drink. Now there's a lady waiting in ye car too. A rainbow. Q: Why did the boy lock himself in his house on St. Patricks Day? After a while, the man needed to relieve himself, so he went to use the restroom. What is a leprechauns Because they are hard to find and lucky to have. The guy stands there and thinks to himself he does have a point! A: Theyre always a little short. ", An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way, buddy, you're too drunk." A: A Potty Gold. Paddy: "No worriesI lost that bloody sausage in the third pub!" Knock, knock! whom it would appear he had accidently hit with his errant shot. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'. A man was at a club and after several drinks, of course he had to go to the bathroom. BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. Because they're always a little short. A: Leprechaun spelled backwards. Q: What basketball team do leprechauns cheer for? The couple is in bed when the phone rings at two am. "Irish is a leprechaun language." The wife comes out to investigate the gunshot, finds her husba. May you be a half hour in heaven before the devil knows youre dead. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again, SPLBLBLBLBT! This time the Englishman is really mad! I've been sharing them in letters with my son who's in bootcamp. ", The american goes, "Ok, for my second wish I wanna hot looking woman!" One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con. Did you hear about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet? You look a little differentyou have a giant round orange head. He said, well, its the craziest thing. Laugh at these funny leprechaun jokes. And may trouble avoid you Wherever you go. Q: Why did the leprechaun turn down the bowl of soup? Join our discord: https://discord.gg/jokes, So an American in Ireland walks into a bathroom. The Leprechaun has a massively huge dick, the guy asks "Hey how did you get your dick so big?". This section is just for you. It's a little par three but he still manages to slice it into the bush. The little man in the green suit says, ', He was about to cross an old stone bridge when a small man jumped out from behind a rock. Yes, this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep. Plus, theres something else awesome and interesting youll find on this page. So the Irish would never rule the world. Why are so many leprechauns gardeners? He was the short-order cook. "Oh, really?" St Patrick's Day Pick Up Lines What are the best shoes to wear on St. Patrick's Day? (Sister Matic). Have any short Irish jokes for adults that you want to share? "Because," giggles the leprechaun, "leprechauns don't have tallywaggers." Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. WebBrilliant!. The English says WOW! "I gotcha! Look clover there. What should that man do? "Whadda ya mean you don't have a tallywagger?" Thank you for sharing. The woman says, Me What do they call the Irish jig at McDonalds? A Guide To Weather, Seasons + Climate, How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, Airports in Ireland: Where They Are And Which Is The Best To Fly Into. A: To get to the other side! WebSt. Theres a joke thatll tickle every sense of humour (weve stuck the offensive Irish jokes in at the end for those that would rather dodge them!). Never the less the leprechaun says your loss and starts to walk away. What happens when you call a leprechaun short? Short ribs! the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain What's a leprechaun's favorite kind of music? What is it youre after? the shop assistant asked. What do ghosts drink on St. Patrick's Day? Its no surprise that the Irish have so many dirty jokes up their sleeve, perhaps more than any other country out there, but it all comes down to our culture and sense of humour. More Jokes Continue Below The leprechaun next to him turns and says, Can I borrow a dollar?? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Q: Why did the boy lock himself in his house on St. The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! Oh my God she replied. WebThe undivided attention of a leprechaun. Because they're. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? "Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some." The other is clover. Web( Leprechaun Jokes & Police Jokes) Knock, knock Whos there? Leper Leper who? Lepon con and Im here to pinch you. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. Because it has two banks ", An old drunkard gets kicked out of an Irish pub. Type above and press Enter to search. Paddy goes into a Dublin florist and says he wants to buy a bunch of flowers for his girlfriend. 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Lets see how they like listening to the little b*stard! A Paddy-long-legs., What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? Because hes always a little short. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" When it turns green! a St. Patrick's Day Parade What does it mean if you find a horseshoe in Ireland? After a while, the man needed to relieve himself, so he went to use the The Amer. Patricks Day is almost here. Goes for a walk in the forest sees a little fella dressed in green with his head bobbing up and down between his legs, so the yank says to him are you Leprechaun? He's done it again! Paddy Long Legs. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. The leprechaun says, "Bejesus, I'm in the wrong joke! What's the main difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? What kind of music should you listen to on St. Patricks Day? Dirty jokes, to be precise, are as common in Ireland as sheep on a country road, so we just had to create a list of the best to give you a good laugh. A: Wee-cyclers. An English man, Irishman and a Scotch man are sitting in a pub full of people. I havent found her head yet!. Nevertheless, we are masters of this. ", The leprechaun looks around and says, "Saints preserve us! The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. Why do Irish bread bakers use baking soda? ", Let me tell you about the day I grew up. A leprechaun walks into a bar. The last two places said the same thing. I stir it in with my right, replied the second. WebLeprechaun jokes. He picked it and spoke outloud "This must be me lucky day!" They are usually described or pictured as being small, with green clothing and hats. So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree. In 2022 Jades first book The Ultimate Irish Road Trip Guide was published and is currently available on Amazon. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. A: Irish soda bread. It gave a lot of milk and excellent milk it was. As she lowers herself down, she farts. Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, Funny Penguin Jokes: 11 Best That Will Make You Laugh & More, Dead Birds Falling From Sky Are The Fallout From The Great Resignation. LePrechaun. A troll, a hag and a leprechaun walk into a bar 80.53 % / 306 votes. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" When short after a real short guy wearing a leprechauns costume walks in to use the urinal next to him. How do you blind an Irish woman? An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying two sheep in his arms. Q: What musical instrument do show-off leprechauns play on St. Patricks Day? Low and behold, after a few seconds into relieving himself a very short man walks in and begins peeing in the urinal next to him. So no offence is taken. "If you know what's good for you, don't come near me again, or I'll rip off your little tallywagger," yells the mean-looking guy. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers instead of his red ones? WebLeprechaun Jokes Q: Why are leprechauns so concerned about global warming? What's long & green & has a low I.Q.? One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. The man says, "I found out that my son is gay." 'Was he ill long?' Easily offended? I dont know, replies Paddy. Do leprechauns make good secretaries? When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. It was 8 oclock and the neighbours dog was going mental. They found it at a party, talking way too loudly. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Thats quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free. Who's there? The leprechaun first says, "I will grant ye three wishes, and then in return get me own wish." Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. Guy's been at the bar for a while. Paddy and Sean are planning to go out on St Patricks Day, but only have 50 cents between them. So the american guy bends over and leprechaun starts fucking him in the ass. Warren. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. For some reason the guy happens to glans over and sees this little guy has a huge cock. Because you don't want to press your luck. Nobody can really remember much of what happened after that. The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does.". A: Game clover. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! Hello. Roll a 40 down the street! They also had a milk cow and what a cow it was. The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first. A: Theyre really into green living. He tees up and cranks one. "Just like this," laughs the leprechaun as he sticks out his tongue and spits. If the man let's him go he'll grant him 3 wishes. "Tell that leprechaun that if he We've got all your leprechaun one-liners right here. Pat. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! As he starts drinking more and more, he has to release the valve and goes to the restroom. "Lads" says the Leprechaun, pointing to his right: "this is a wishing slide, when you slide down it, just make a wish, and whatever it is ya wish for, you'll land in it!". A: He already had pot of gold, Q: What do you call a leprechaun who goes to prison? What do you call a frog that jumped into a pot of gold? The leprechaun turns and says in a Irish voice, not to worry laddy I'm a leprechaun, I What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player? Q: Why did the leprechaun climb over the rainbow? Why did God invent Jameson whiskey? Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. He couldn't afford plane fare WebDirty Irish Jokes 1. There's a pot of gold waiting in ye car. The leprechaun wiggles his fingers and Bam! Look up! The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" Why did the leprechaun go outside? Paddy drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold? The taller gentleman catches himself sneaking a peek and notices the short man's penis is exceptionally large. Embarrassed, he apologizes, Father O'Malley was walking through the fields in Belfast when he looked down and saw a four leaf clover. The other lad filling them in. Our next hilarious Irish dirty joke is about an Irish couple. All of them are clean and awesome. She apologises and trys again before farting a second time. The swingers there must be a misunderstanding 2. I havent been feeling myself lately, Sheamus replied. A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at. The Leprechaun says, "Done! With soda bread. Continue with Recommended Cookies. He fit all of the stereotypes of an Irishman, having red hair and beard, constantly being at the bar, and having an accent so thick that I could barely understand him even though I knew him. How many tunes should the bard play? .css-2x3ibz{-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;display:block;margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;font-family:Kepler,Helvetica,Arial,Serif;font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;font-weight:normal;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-2x3ibz:hover{color:link-hover;}}Just Try Not to Laugh at These Mom Jokes, Dad Jokes to Keep the Whole Family Laughing, Any-bunny Will Crack Up at These Easter Jokes, The Best April Fools' Day Jokes We've Heard, The Best Easter Puns to Get Every-Bunny Laughing, 45 Silly Irish Puns for St. Patrick's Day, You'll Both Crack Up Over These Valentine's Puns, These Valentine's Day Jokes Will Make You Both LOL, 41 Best New Year Jokes to Start 2023 With a Smile, 90 Best Christmas Puns for All the Holiday Giggles, Get the Table Laughing With These Turkey Day Jokes. A: He took a shortcut. #1 for Parents and Teachers! Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day? A: Because Irish stew. The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. Touch my Lucky Charms & I will choke your little Leprechaun and he blows his brains out with a shotgun. Funny Leprechaun Jokes for everyone! Thats good, said Sean. She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled, and says, Yeah, says Paddy. The man was evidently offended and responded, The cheek, just because I order a pint of Guinness you assume Im Irish. Now I can grant ye one wish, as long as it involves tongue! But before you pull out your favorite green sweater, you better be prepared to entertain your friends and family with some funny St. Patrick's Day jokes and puns. If you like these funny leprechaun jokes youve just read, please check out these 21 absolutely hilarious and short Irish jokes because theyre awesome. A poor Irish family lives on a farm and they rely on their single cow for income. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" He stops in the middle of the footpath, lowers his trousers, squats dow. What do you say to someone who just got peed on by a leprechaun? While you can share some meaningful St. Patrick's Day quotes or St. Patrick's Day Instagram captions on social media, you can also add some of these jokes to make sure the day is one that's full of laughter. Weve tried to bang in a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone. The leprechaun makes a deal with the man. The urinal is one of those long trench types without walls to separate people. He gets O'ffended. WebSt. When he got back to class, his A: To get to the pot of gold. Why is it difficult to borrow money from a leprechaun? He should quit drinking. A: Small talk. Q: What do leprechauns yell when they first see an Irish shoreline? Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. The man agrees and states "for my first wish I'll have a pint of Guinness that never runs out". Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers? The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem persists. What type of bow cannot be tied? A: So they can go green. So Bob throws his hat over the pile of shit. We specialise in Bizarre Irish News, Viral Videos and general Irish Craic. WebWhere do leprechauns live? My wife made me a green hamburger today to celebrate St Patricks Day. WebBelow, weve compiled a list of some of the most hilarious St. Pattys Day jokes, including leprechaun jokes, puns about Guinness, shamrocks, rainbows, Ireland, and all things Whats the bad news? The bartender said, "What will you have Umbridge?". asks his captor. If you want a dick thisbig, you'll have to be willing to take it. For what seems like hours, he wanders through the forest with barely enough light to see. But before all of that awesomeness, how about a few interesting facts about leprechauns you probably dont know? Q: Why do leprechauns make such good secretaries? Do you know a good joke which isn't here. WebThe leprechaun says, "I did that for you. I havent been feeling myself lately, replied Paddy. Why shouldnt you borrow money from a leprechaun? A: He got wet. In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. You'll never get me copper! Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. Laugh at these funny leprechaun jokes. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. So that he will look forward to making the trip If you told me the leprechaun existed, Id believe you Just kidding, the Irish aren't offended by jack shit because they're not pussies. A: They like to jig more than jog. Aleperchaunspelledbackwards. The urinals were occupied, so the man opens a stall. Pressing, the man says, "How could I make mine that large?". Q: What did the leprechaun order to drink at the Chinese restaurant? Shortly thereafter a short man walks in and does the same in the next urinal over. Happy St Patricks Day Marty he sighed, Why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he replies with another question?, Bollocks. Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse?'. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it. Clover. Q: Why were all the leprechauns still complaining in April about it raining on St. Patricks Day? A man walks into the bathroom and sees a leprechaun taking a piss. Go home, she is waiting for you in your bed, ready to give you the greatest night of your life." He took a short cut. Bob and Jim are chilling in the park when Bob has to take a shit. Five minutes later the guy comes in though the back door and orders a drink, again the bartender says, "You're too drunk" The bartender asks the priest what he wants. On the third hole (a long dogleg left par 4) he smashes his driver over the trap that guards the left corner of the dogleg. A cold beer and another one. You haven't met an Irish Women yet! Manage Settings The father opened the door and says, "yes, my sons. Paddy has an idea, he takes the 50 cents of Sean, goes to a butchers and buys a sausage. Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. One liner tags: animal, political, sarcastic, St. Patrick's Day. What do you call a fake Irish stone? What is nuahcerpel? Two lepracauns walk up to the doors of a Catholic Church in Ireland. A Shamrock Shake Leprechauns, castles, good luck and laughter. Why don't women want to get engaged on St Patricks Day? Did you also know that he enjoys practical jokes?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_11',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); Either way, the jokes about this legendary creature from Irish mythology follow below. Ye can see 'e's 'angin' out. What do you call a Leprechaun in a stand-up routine? Mount & Do They worked up along one street and then down the other. WebI might only be 25% Irish, but on St Patrick's Day I will be 100% drunk. A: He was too green to go out on patrol. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. A guy walks in to the bathroom to take leak after drinking a couple of pitchers of beer on St. Patrick's Day. If you like this leprechaun joke, youll also like these funny. Gaelic breath.. They have an Irish whisk-key. A: To get to the other side, Q: What do leprechauns leave out on their lawn all summer? Do I get a wish now? Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. ! Well no. Irish Day Off Jokes Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy. "I named my pee-pee 'Guinness' Connect with us on your favourite social media app. A: A lepre-con. I wonder if he could do that for Congress. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! It wasnt. What's the leprechaun community's answer to Comic-Con? What does it mean if you find a four-leaf clover? "Why not?" What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? Visit our page here: St. Patricks Day Knock Knock Jokes. May your blessings outnumber The shamrocks that grow, What can I do for you?" WebQ: Whos the worlds tallest leprechaun? Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. Because they're very short-tempered! A leprechaun doesnt get offended if you ask him if his whales blue. The Mother Superior opens the door and the first leprechaun doffs his hat then stammers and stutters, "T-t-t-top o' the mornin' to ye, sister!". To get to the other side. Ever tried ironing a four-leaf clover? Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. Some poor horse is going barefoot! If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. WebWhy did the leprechaun cross the road on red? The first leprechaun asks, "tell me father, do you have any leprechaun nuns in your church?" Irish people regularly take the piss out of each other, but its common knowledge that the other person is joking (well, most of the time). The leprechaun laughs, "You The short man replied now without the Irish accent, "Hmm just wondering why is a grown as 25yr old man still believing in leprechauns. Q: What job did the leprechaun have at the restaurant? You might end up pressing your luck. Leprechaun Jokes Q: Why shouldnt you borrow money from a leprechaun? A leprechaun artist! By looking over your shoulder. An avid golfer hits his ball into the woods. Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? you ever tried pushing one of these He glanced down and saw that the dwarf was hung like a horse. WebFunny Leprechaun Jokes: 15 Best That Will Make You Laugh & More. 38. I'm in the wrong joke! Terri Robertson is the Senior Editor, Digital, at Country Living, where she shares her lifelong love of homes, gardens, down-home cooking, and antiques. What did the giant say to the leprechaun? Q: What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow? Clover who? Not everyday you see one of my kind! the BLARNEY stone! A: Shortstop. Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? ( St. Patricks Day Knock Knock Jokes) Q: Why was the leprechauns given a desk job when he became a policeman? Ive put the little b*stard in our garden. This time, the guy successfully catches the leprechaun. Here, you'll find everything from hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! What did the poor leprechaun say as he ran from the police? After three hours of unforgettable sex, Paddy says, I wonder how the girls are getting on?. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. Apparently, asking a dwarf why he isnt wearing his leprechaun costume was offensive. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. What do you call a bad Irish dance? No one is saying anything smart. Theyd rather jig than jog. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? A: The Jolly Green Giant! A leprechaun who recycles. WebThis time, the guy successfully catches the leprechaun. The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. Why did the leprechaun go outside? What is a huge Irish spider called? Three men find a Leprechaun and he says, "I will snap my fingers and we will be at the top of my rainbow." What did the giant say to the leprechaun? He took a shortcut! What's small, lucky, and green all over? What kind of spells do leprechauns use? "There is more friendship in a half pint of whiskey than in a churn of buttermilk." Goes for a walk in the forest sees a little fella dressed in green with his head bobbing up and down between his legs, so the yank says to him are you Leprechaun? He took a shortcut. Who's there? If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? For his first wish the farmer wishes for all the land in Texas to. The Englishman says, The pubs in England are the best. Patrick's Day one liners. Potty who? Q: What did the leprechaun call the happy man wearing green? Jade is currently on a campervan adventure around Europe, where she continues to get her travel and food inspiration. Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! May your glass be ever full. Theyre both for me.. WebTop 10 hilarious Irish dirty jokes (laughter guaranteed) 1. Lucky Charms! Wheres my husband? All bunged up A lad from Clare went to his Sham-rock and roll. A leper con Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? How do Irish cooks keep their tools organized? A: A jig mistake, Q: How can you spot a jealous leprechaun? After several pitchers of beer, the leprechaun runs over to a large, mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all his legs. Most Irish people are just witty by nature, and the classic one-liners and jokes are sometimes just improvised, perhaps after a few pints. When he started relieving himself in the trough, he noticed a dwarf a few feet down the trough. ", until a leprechaun banged my wife while I was at the office. The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you. A leprechaun who recycles. I don't have four leaves, but if you pluck me, I'll give you luck! Well, its certainly clear from these ten hilarious Irish dirty jokes that you cant take things too seriously in Ireland, and you most definitely shouldnt take any offence. Erin who? Why do leprechauns giggle when they play soccer? I can smell wine, Father, said the Garda. See more. As he goes to look for it, he stumbles upon a leprechaun who is brewing a mysterious concoction. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. What do you say to the smartest person you know on St. Patricks Day? I warned you -- now I'm gonna rip off your little tallywagger!" The guy replies "I'm 25yrs old , why do you ask?"
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