If so, my eyes are oftener washd than hers. I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes. I just cant deal with your negativity while Im trying to grow into a fully-formed human. Dolly Levi: Yonkers, New York, to handle a highly personal matter for Mr. Horace Vandergelder, the well-known, unmarried, half-a-millionaire. She needs a commanding stage . I opened the caf with my friend Boo. For instance, okay, junior year I dated this girl, Sue Hornick. Ive been at the hospital, Kayleigh. Youre starting to feel like a woman and believe it or not soon youll understand what its like to be in love. And I guess I am. Boo was built a bit like a guinea pig. I need you to remember about the picture, and about how I stop by your office every Friday, and how Ive always hated all your boyfriends, and how the two girls Ive ever seriously dated have looked like less attractive versions of you. HELLO DOLLY MONOLOGUE Leesburg Blues Brothers Tribute 100 subscribers Subscribe 2.5K views 10 years ago Cliff here reciting the Cornelius Hackle courtroom monologue from the staged musical. Your bugle eyeballs, nor your cheek of cream, Well, all power to George W I dont want the fucking pricks to win, either. Kim: It is a key ingredient to a happy and meaningful life. But you know what? So, the cops got me and Im sent to the shrink. 1969 Stars: Barbra Streisand, Walter Matthau, Michael Crawford, Marianne McAndrew Genre: Comedy, Musical, Romance Rating: G Runtime: 146 minutes They just don't make musicals like this any more. That they wont be bettered. If only I was a little quicker. (to Kayleigh.) Only Hello, Dolly! Like, if I blew her off to hang out with Kyle she would be like, Why didnt you call me back! What though you have no beauty, Well, boy, oh, boy, what a racket! Martin, I said. Hello, Dolly! Juno: Irene Molloy: If you ask me, she'd do better with a heavy veil. To have held him in my arms before he went. And he starts in on how hes just this total fuck up and maybe he should just throw himself off the roof. Corey was older than me, bigger than me and a whole lot cooler than me. For beasts that meet me run away for fear: Squire Squire, Hackham and whos the other one? Do you know oh, Im almost too embarrassed to admit this Adam misses the bus sometimes. People come that like, didnt R.S.V.P.! Hes wearing this perplexed expression and hes saying you want me to leap tall buildings and be sensitive and supportive?! Something Ive resurrected from that old trunk! Like is there a way of findin out whether Im fertile or not? So he tells me theres a sperm analysis test that I can do if I really want to. Thank God my parents are dead, this would have killed em! Okay. Boos death hit the papers. And you know what Im gonna get her back. All other trademarks and copyrights are the property of their respective owners. Its like a teacher waved a magic wand and did the work for me. Shes so pathetic. Boom. And he looked heavy, I mean, who knew hed go flying. Dont repeat that. I mean, it wasnt like a disease or like some people have, thyroid or that type of deal she just shovelled shit into her mouth all the time, had a few kids, and, bang, shes up there at 350, maybe more. But if farts were flattery, honey he would be Shakespeare. Horace: You are a seven-foot-tall nincompoop! But beautiful and my best friend. Have a great winter, Im gonna go hump the fridge. Getting some tests done. I says. Im with you now, but Im thinking about him, and thats not fair to either of us. No, Mr. Brents not hereHe lives here, yes, but he dont live here now because he lives in Spain Mr. Philip Brent, thats right. Actual slap. Cos I got bored and had sex with you? Tricky though. I wanna thank all of you for a terrific summer. (struggling) Do you remember when you found that picture in my car of you, me and Chet, with Chet cut out of it? Look Some of the best minds in our country peeing all over the floor in this here facility. AND THEN OF COURSE I STARTED GOING FUCKING STIR-FUCKING-CRAZY THINKING OF ALL THE THINGS I COULD HAVE SAID. Ods my little life! Does that make any sense? She's a widower and meddling matchmaker. I feel like its a lifeline. Since Im being judged by a jury of my peers I will attempt to insert like and totally into my confession as much as possible. On the other, I think shes the only person on Earth who can make me happy. Gonna be insane. He discovers that I was this really fascinating woman all along. No, maybe I do know. I think you have to marry me. Louis Armstrong's recording was a huge, critically important piece. Harrys a bit fat. I cant believe it. file Hello Dolly Monologue Minnie Fay Book Free Download PDF at Our eBook Library. You know the problem with pyromania? There are some who would be grateful for that--the plot is but a flimsy excuse to string together song and dance numbers. Everyone looks at what theyve got and wants itThey just want the stuff, thats right, isnt it? My entire life! Why, what means this? Young women need the Prom. Because the truth is despite all facts to the contraryI still love you madly. That can entame my spirits to your worship. But then one of the other doctors popped in, called him Nigel, mentioned something about badminton so I thought: probably not. I searched high and low through that kitchen. He clears his throat, brings his hand to his mouth and coughs: Walk of shame. I know all that. She knows everything Im ever going to do before I know it myself. Terrify me. He tells me theres a one in four chance Im not fertile, that I cant be a father, like. Bores you?! Acting Monologues. I know how to open champagne with a sword. Jesus, I nearly ran out of the place. Research Playwrights, Librettists, Composers and Lyricists. Im weak. Maybe Ill never have someone get down on a knee and offer me a diamond ring. It's been long enough, Ephraim! So sad that he had to die in such shame. She didnt think shed actually die, just found out that her boyfriend slept with someone else and she wanted to punish him by ending up in hospital and not letting him visit her for a bit. Horace: Advice is cheap Ms. Molloy. It makes me laugh. It wasnt my fault. ), I wore it on Sundays for my gentlemen callers ! And, all right, I know the Americans go on with all this flag-waving, patriotic bullshit and think the rest of the world hates them, but fuck, Talbot, theyre right: the rest of the world does hate em I hate em, and I want to live here! And youre sorry! Minnie Fay: Who ever heard of a doctor slipping on an apple peel? But for any guy hoping that the sizzling details of my sordid past will inspire you to lock the bathroom door and do it to it with your sisters moisturising lotion youll be gravely disappointed. . I will also end statements with a question mark? - Definition, Artists & Instruments, What Is Rumba? Yes folks, its true. Hello Dolly- Monologue 1 Term 1 / 11 1st line Click the card to flip Definition 1 / 11 Oh dear, oh my, will you look at that, ten o'clock and the shop's not opened yet Click the card to flip Flashcards Learn Test Match Created by Terms in this set (11) 1st line Oh dear, oh my, will you look at that, ten o'clock and the shop's not opened yet And theres nobody else especially not a grown male blonde, you know me better than that. (Just pull the shades first.) Ill tell you what happens. Its like hes confused about how attractive I am he cant quite believe it. But who is here? He did it from memory, but it was a perfect likeness of her. Look, sex and love are separate thingsWell, they can be, thats all Im saying. And Im buggin. Dolly Levi: Mr. Kemper, do you mind if we go inside? Impossible! On this chip he had laboriously painted my grandmothers face, using ashes mixed with water for ink, and his own hair as a paintbrush. Dolly Levi: And on those cold winter nights, Horace, you can snuggle up to your cash register. Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with You and ask for things, but now I really must insist that You help me win the election tomorrow, because I deserve it and Paul Metzier doesnt, as You well know. It was as though a large piece of phlegm had lodged in my throat and my words couldnt pass it. He would hate me for telling you but hed lost control of his bowels. He called me by my name. Or I might go to church. Watch instead for the musical numbers and the lavish costumes. Just for a minute. Ruben: Added to which: he was a very pale man, heavy-breather I did wonder briefly if he might actually be Death, come to get me. Jude: Nice shoes faggot you got mousse in your hair lets put mousse in his anus! Id be flipping through MAD magazine and just put the thing down and take it. Horace: It takes a woman all powdered and pink to joyously clean out the drain in the sink! Just this, like, one tear I see as were sitting at a stoplight on the way home. A pretty girl at a party once asked me if I secretly liked that Harry had a paunch, because it made him less attractive to other women. I dont know what it is with me lately but I just get so UGH! It's a little lumpy, but it rings! Afternoons, long, long rides! No, no, I am as ugly as a bear; And the pretension! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Im sorry to do this to you, but I was afraid Id never get the chance to tell you. Dont repeat that. However, we have dozens of other monologues that you can read. If you marry me, your parents will be ecstatic, and you will have lost a lifelong battle of defiance against them. I thought that was the deal. The one who writes the plays, thats him, only now he writes them in Spain No, shes in Spain, too, theyre all in Spain, theres no one here Am I in Spain? Fuck. No more drinking, no more getting worked up, no more smoking, apparently Im ignoring that, obviously but. All right. It had to be! You would be amazed, a lot of shopping malls. Wilder's uproarious farce about love and money, stars the irrepressible busybody, Dolly Gallagher Levi, who inspired the Broadway musical, Hello, Dolly! Do you see where Im going with this? Stop! Pat, pat. I cant open sardines and answer the phone. Just give me five minutes of your time, Mr. Hackl, and I'll have you dancing in the streets. Back to square one. Judy Rude. I hid in the shrubs when Mum came outside to see what was happening. (beat) Some very bad guys strapped a bomb to my chest and they are forcing me to commit a crime. But I cant help it. The moment their eyes met, they fell in love. Coz all of those things would exponentially cooler than going to the dance with you. A monologue is a speech that a character gives during a theatrical piece. I know every girl at school except Monica is in love with him. Now if you dont mind, I have some unfinished business to attend to. I dont do anything to give off any kind of interest whatsoever, I completely look the other way when I see eye contact happening and they STILL come over thinking theyre so suave and its simply repulsive. And then I worry about whether he can tell my hearts going crazy, and I have to act really cool. Jeffrey: So, O.K., like the Haitians need to come to America but some people are all, What about the sprain on our resources? And its like, when I had this garden party for my fathers birthday and its all catered, you know, I said R.S.V.P. because its a sit down dinner. The change of climate from East Tennessee to the Delta weakened resistance I had a little temperature all the time not enough to be serious just enough to make me restless and giddy. Nor do I, really Its silly to be depressed by it. Ken: Was I free? Looking for a great comedic monologue? Hello Dolly Monologue Minnie Fay Book file PDF. Like, totally. Michael: Then I get home and I make him breakfast. A return from Miss Mortimer again? Some of us, however, love big, splashy, overdone musical scenes, of which the. It doesnt help. He stared at her for a whole hour. And I cant be the only thing you like! I would definitely recommend Study.com to my colleagues. I dont believe in them. ''Hello, Dolly!'' Who knew hed go flying right off the roof? Course it was a woman doctor. "Hello, Dolly! A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Even taking into account the fact that youre dead, really ask yourself, if I asked you straight off Im going to stuff you in this box now, would you rather be alive or dead? And thank heaven, fasting, for a good mans love: In fact, we have to trust the playwright or screenwriter and just fully commit to the situation. Come out of there!. Thats not a crime, you know. Dolly Levi: Hello! All that being said, Hello, Dolly!, is one of the most famous songs in all of musical theater. Or how they view my choices and, yes, maybe that makes me not very deep, or petty, or some other word, hell, I dont know! You know-plainly, clearly state what they want instead of expecting you to be psychic. It means, Kayleigh, no more fun. Fine. Chub Chubs getting closer. And for your information, I adore your father. I have to haul ass to the kitchen, re-distribute the food and like squish in extra place-settings and people are on mismatched chairs and all. 'Cause I couldn't hide from him. Joe, Vandergelder's barber: You'll have to sit still Mr Vandergelder, if I cut your throat it'll be practically unintentional. I mean, what is that?! How to approach a comedy monologue: Amanda Wingfield: Through Dolly's subtle machinations, several unlikely couples come together to find happiness in 19th-century New York. So here it goes. Ive got angina. And I know you have feelings for me, too. What gives him the right? Yes, but theres no one here, love. Prom is the quintessential teenage experience. This Book have some digitalformats such us : kindle, epub, ebook, paperbook, and another formats. Thats where were at now, and now some pricks actually done something about it, and killed three thousand people, and the Americans are fucking mad as hell, because they know every single one of them is on that plane hurtling towards the Twin Towers and they dont like it and theyre not going to stand for it, and theyre going to get the pricks thatre threatening them. There are only a few things in life that are guaranteed to be glorious and memorable and sparkling with gowns and cummerbunds. Book by MICHAEL STEWART Music and Lyrics by JERRY HERMAN Based on the play THE MATCHMAKER by Thornton Wilder Original Production Directed and Choreographed by Gower Champion Produced for the Broadway Stage by David Merrick and Champion-Five, Inc. TAMS-WITMARK MUSIC LIBRARY, INC. The right one. But then it dawned on me. Evenings, dances ! Another 1 win & 13 nominations. Its no good you going on. The latest revival of the beloved musical 'Hello, Dolly!,' which stormed Broadway with Bette Midler in 2017, . I spent my money on magazines and electronics fashion mostly. Which means he did. What you may not know is that I also own a bottle of dick cream, I fondle my sweaters, and I often like to smear mud on my ass. Doug: - Definition, Origin & History, Woodstock: History, Facts, Performers & Bands, Jesus Christ Superstar: Summary & Characters, Electronic Music: History, Types & Artists, Art, Music, and Architecture Around the World, Introduction to Textiles & the Textile Industry, World Music & Art Lesson Plans & Activities, NES Music - WEST (504): Practice & Study Guide, Library Science 101: Information Literacy, Pope Gregory II: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory VII: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory VIII: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory XII: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory XIII: Accomplishments & Legacy, Pope Gregory XV: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory XVI: Biography & Accomplishments, Bishop Oscar Romero: Biography, Assassination & Quotes, Blessed James Alberione: Biography, Death & Quotes, Pope John XXIII: Biography, Facts & Quotes, Pope John XXIII: Canonization, Contributions & Miracles, Archbishop Aloysius Stepinac: Biography & Quotes, Working Scholars Bringing Tuition-Free College to the Community. Tom: Martin wouldnt be wanting his dinner because Martins not with me any more. Im referring to myself when I say Megan, its me Megan. I went and stood in a card shop for a bit to sort my head out. She was such a dick. . (Banging on the floor with his fists. Learn more and register your interest at our online acting course page. Apart from inside a box. What wicked and dissembling glass of mine If you really want to know, married life sucks. Ill teach you to be me and you teach me to be you. For more information, visit hct.org. And who can hold their own in an interesting discussion. As Dolly sets her mission into motion over the course of one momentous day, love, hope and optimism blooms among those fortunate to be in her meddlesome path. Im sure you two will have a real great time. Overview by Stephen Rojcewicz, MD Plot Summary Knock-knock. I loved you and believed you and pretended not to notice the Streisand thing. Bedroom. Dead? These monologues will work well for auditions, perhaps a showreel update or for just some self-taping fun. I confess Im, in no small part, to blame for all the gossip that has turned my varsity letter scarlet. Our time together But I think that were very different people. Henry: So what am I doing here, Audrey? Martins dead. Totally freaked out, she did. It's the things that come gift wrapped that count! Over the wretched? Ugh! So I start tellin her about my mole and cancer and all this and she starts feelin me like she had plastic gloves on and I was lyin on this bed, like a baby almost . So you see, she knew I was going to lead the Army of the Twelve Monkeys into the pages of history before it ever even occurred to me. This monologue is from Thornton Wilder's "The Matchmaker". plays nightly (excepts Sundays) at 7:30 PM through June 10, with additional matinees at 12:30 PM and 4 PM on Saturdays and at 4 PM on Mondays (starting May 8) and May 12 and 19, at Hale Centre Theatre (9900 South Monroe Street, Sandy). Never have. Your parents. HELLO, DOLLY! I definitely caved in to the peer pressure.

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hello, dolly monologue