I'm sorry you missed it, Major, it was a great party. Sgt. Back, back, all of you. Many are unaware that he was. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: You keep that up and Klink'll be down here in a minute and there goes the ball game! And a 'Good day' to you, too, Schultz. Louis LeBeau: What about me, Colonel? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter General von Rauscher [walks towards door, gives his classical] BAH! General von Rauscher: I AM IN CHARGE OF SECURITY- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE? - Oh, excuse me a moment, general. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: EVERYBODY THOUGHT HE WAS STUPID! Release Dates General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: What are you babbling about? Hans Georg Schultz: What do you think? Peter Newkirk: [looking at the burnt money in his hand] It's the story of my life. I fully intend - - Hogan, why are you so composed? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Who's defending him? Who's "we"? Sgt. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Enough! Col. Wilhelm Klink: My cooler is your cooler. Captain Karl Metzler: In return for *information*! Peter Newkirk: You don't think I'd let a Frenchman make the tea, do you? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Colonel Crittendon: Good? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Then what's the bad news? Col. Robert E. Hogan: For the liberation. : For me? Cpl. Bob Crane starred as Colonel Robert E. Hogan, coor. Cpl. [Myra and Newkirk are being held in a German prison]. The Adolf Hitler Bridge is still in business. Sgt. Back to Stalag 13. Now that you all know it [Schultz leaves and then re-enters the room]. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You will all stay away from that rocket. Filming & Production Col. Wilhelm Klink: Be quiet and listen to the music! Therefore Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: ALL HEADS WILL ROLL. Cpl. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter If they see anybody suspicious, shoot them. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Yeah, I could not believe it myself. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Then, if you still won't talk, you will be starved, tortured and then shot. Col. Robert E. Hogan: No, me Hogan. Major Hochstetter : [repeated line, whenever Col. Hogans shows up] What is this man doing here? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink! Sgt. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Did I say red dress? My men gave it to me. I will surround this camp with a ring of steel. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [the men are planting flowers] I was not aware that you were such a nature lover. Hans Georg Schultz: Oh, I'm sorry, Freddy. Everybody out, out, out, out, out, out, out! Col. Wilhelm Klink: Schultz, take him away. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [annoyed] Colonel Hogan, I'm very busy this morning - dispatches from Berlin. This is no trick at all. When the Allies march in the front gate, it'll go a lot easier for you if you're standing there with a bouquet of pansies. Col. Wilhelm Klink Oh lovely tunnel I must say- pity it doesn't lead into a bank. Col. Wilhelm Klink: This time tell me the good news first. : General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Yes, but Klink is such a stupid one. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You may come and go as you please, Kommandant. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I wouldn't believe one word you said, Hogan. [Zagoskin hands him his notebook] Hans Georg Schultz: He called you a liar! Back, back, all of you. You gotta expect a few little explosions. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Then why do you want me to marry her? Just because we're prisoners doesn't mean we can't have our own prisoners. Andrew Carter: Hey Thank you! Col. Robert E. Hogan: Let's get our prisoner first. Disgraceful. Sgt. Marya Anyone within a hundred yards of this rocket will be shot and reshot. It was a message. Colonel Hauptmann is a very lucky man. Look, if the Germans can have an American prisoner, why can't the Americans have a German prisoner. Cpl. Hogan: [the phone rings while Hogan's men are cracking a safe] Answer the phone, tell him it's the wrong number. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Hochstetter's not such a bad guy, sir. In the second place this isn't a social visit, its official. I'm not holding a girl. Col. Wilhelm Klink: You're a little late, my friend. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Take my word, Klink, this is no time to be a sound sleeper. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Well, then he is fat. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Carter, you overpower him quickly and quietly. : General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink, this transfer is an order from the highest authority in the Third Reich. We've got him. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: We've got who? Col. Wilhelm Klink: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [hangs up] We've got him. Cpl. We lost a man to give you what you asked for. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Hogan thinks he can outsmart me. Kinch: Achtung doesn't mean 'Good morning.'. General von Behler: Stalag 13? [laughs. Major Hochstetter Hogans Heroes Quotes: top 7 famous quotes about Major Hochstetter Hogans Heroes List 7 wise famous quotes about Major Hochstetter Hogans Heroes: I deal with the obvious. Hans Georg Schultz: General Burkhalter, what are you doing here? Hogan: Do I have to repeat the orders that were given to us when this happy little band of wandering minstrels was formed? You might as well have said Friday, for all I care. Colonel Klink: [runs to the window and shouts outside] Schultz! After service in the Navy during WWII, Caine continued his studies at The School of . Hogan: Oh, yeah. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, let's put it this way. Release Dates Cpl. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: How do you explain this, Klink? Major Martin: [in disbelief] You're an American. So handsome and so unlucky. Therefore Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Hochstetter for example would have to be a Sturmbannfhrer. Quiet you blithering idiot, I'm trying to think! It's my niece, Frieda, and she's marrying Count Von Hertzel. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR SECURITY HERE. Peter Newkirk: [as Sydney Greenstreet] Oh, fluently, sir, fluently. That way we will get the full impact on public opinion. I have given it many hours of intelligent thought. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: The message is: "I am foul. Huh! Andrew Carter: Three firecrackers and a can of lighter fluid. Hans Georg Schultz: When I say 'Achtung' that means that you all are to SNAP to attention. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Yes, Major Hochstetter. Thank you. "However, the weather turned cold and my knee stiffened up, as it has since August the fourth 1917, when you panicked and almost killed the two of us in that training crash. I was the top man in my unit. Hans Georg Schultz: Roll Call! Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Ja, I believe I have. Sgt. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Oh? : Sgt. | Uh, did you come on military business, or is this a social call? They would have come right back. Hans Georg Schultz: I could use a few letters myself. My men gave it to me. Col. Wilhelm Klink: The highest authority? Andrew Carter: Well, I'm still willing to try, Colonel. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Burkhalter arrives] Ah, General Burkhalter it is so good to see you again. Lock us up? Col. Wilhelm Klink: You have certainly come to the right man for delicate matters. HOCHSTETTER GETS THE DROP ON THE KILLER, IN MAJOR HOCHSTETTER, GESTAPO H ow's that for a provocative title? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Major Hochstetter, Herr General, in charge of security here, and you're all much too close to this rocket. Schultz and Hilda look at each other, and shrug]. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: That is me. Hans Georg Schultz: I said 'Achtung!'. Till we meet again, Nimrod. Col. Wilhelm Klink: But, But this is classified, General. : NOTHING IS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DUKE OF YORK! And who are we gonna believe? Col. Wilhelm Klink I didn't mean to hang up on you before but you really do have the wrong number. Sgt. Cpl. Cpl. He studied under Colonel Klink Bloopers [] Major Hochstetter says that Hammelburg (near Stalag 13) has been chosen because of its proximity to Dsseldorf, but his geography is way off -- Hammelburg is 250KM from Dsseldorf. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Have all security precautions been strictly observed? "What happend to the Duke of York?" *I am responsible for security here! General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: For two hours you have been telling me that. Col. Wilhelm Klink: You are the prosecutor? Sgt. : General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Who knows? Sgt. Col. Robert E. Hogan Sgt. We had to lose him - he was bad luck. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I intend to nail the prosecutor's fat hide to the wall. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [indignantly] That's to keep the tooth warm! It's almost PAST time for Roll Call! Andrew Carter: Let's get out of here! Ja, I believe I have. My mind is like a camera. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Let's make him unhappy - nasty unhappy. Schultz Mueller: This one looks stupid . Col. Wilhelm Klink: I'm sure Mrs. Burkhalter was famished when she arrived. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [on telephone] What was that? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You have one simple alternative, Commandant. Major Hochstetter While being heartily congratulated by the painter, painter's daughter, LeBeau & Hogan Hogan asks] How'd you do that? I'm sick and tired of fighting and bloodshed. Sgt. Call the general, sir. This was originally. : Cpl. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Who is that woman? He doesn't have a clue. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [on holiday at the ski lodge] Well, I'm here to forget all about the war for awhile. Sgt. Cpl. Colonel Klink: [about how he got Hogan out of the cooler] I used all my intelligence and craftiness. The man can't dance. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What is it at your camp, Klink? Cpl. Kinch: Didn't you hear what Schultz said? Did you hear me? Unquote. "What happened to the Duke of York?" You've already figured how to turn this to your advantage. [Schultz had been drinking wine all afternoon]. Hans Georg Schultz: You forgot pigs By the way who are we talking about? Alright, alright. Col. Robert E. Hogan: What would you say is the one thing that made the Blue Baron the greatest fighter pilot in World War One? Hogan, I Marya [Klink brags that he is in tip-top physical shape]. Col. Robert E. Hogan Wild horses and torture could not drag one syllable out of me. Sgt. Andrew Carter: Schultz says I might get shot. But it IS time for Roll Call. I'm a cryptologist. Louis LeBeau: All you're gonna get is my name, rank and serial number. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Yeah, that's not the code Oh, it's the old double-look method. She must be an orangutan. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Now, is there anything I can get you, General, before you go to sleep - perhaps a glass of warm milk? 694 17K views 2 years ago Hogan's Heroes! Starring Bob Crane as Colonel Robert Hogan, the show was set in a German prisoner of war (POW) camp for Western Allied prisoners during World War II . [slams door shut]. Berlin is calling every minute. Can't hold their liquor. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Neither am I. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Schultz, close the gates! Did you hear me? Now you may leave anytime, and take your spy, Private Berger, with you! Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh that's quite alright Herr General. Who is that woman? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Ja, Kommandant Klink, a man who could have been great, except he wasn't very good. Pleasure, No. Sgt. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [sarcastically] Oh, thank you very much. Please! Alf the Artist: [after coming up out of the emergency tunnel] Ah, thank you very much. And I believe a full corporal. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. All heads will roll, that's quite democratic. I warned you not to listen to me unless I tell you to. Hogan: Lucky for you, we're going to get you out of this country. Howard Caine. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: If I do, I'm liable to shoot him myself. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Yes, I heard the phone ring, I heard you say Mairzy Doats, and I watched you eat a wad of paper. : General von Rauscher : Who are you? [reads the lines he worte down] "Mairzy Doats, Little Boy Blue" [eats the paper] I realise this is hard to believe, general, but Klink- General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: HOCHSTETTER! Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [does so] Sorry, general. [in an argument with a captain about safehousing a truck and cargo]. Peter Newkirk: All the way around? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Of course not. Hans Georg Schultz: Well Colonel Hogan asked me if he could leave the camp tonight again to see the baroness. Col. Wilhelm Klink: The fat prosecutor, whoever that is. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: The fat prosecutor. You are succeeding in doing by yourself what millions of enemy soldiers are unable to do. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Exactly two miles And she ate a sandwich in the car. Keep your costs down, put your house in order, or the next time you want caviar, you won't have to import it - you can catch your own on the Volga. Did you hear me? You have chosen the most dangerous man in all of Germany as a witness. Hogan: You see, sir, today is one of our national holidays - repeal of prohibition. Colonel Klink: I will thank him the next time I see him, huh? Hogan: Well if it makes you feel any better, sir, there IS a chimpanzee raking in the garden. I got so excited. Hans Georg Schultz: Don't they drink tea in France? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Him I would let goldbrick. Andrew Carter: Yeah, and Klink's happy - nasty happy. : Obviously, it's not the code. And Schultz, for once keep your fat mouth shut. Cpl. Peter Newkirk: In that case, sir, why don't you tell us what you've thought of? Schultz: No, no, it is Major Hochstetter. Col. Wilhelm Klink: You cannot use it, and that's final. Beggars can't be choosers, you know. I will surround this camp with a ring of steel. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Are you aware that, last Monday night, an American plane dropped a bomb on Gestapo headquarters? Hans Georg Schultz: That's the only one I had. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Did you hear that, Schultz? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Cpl. Sgt. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: What do they want, Klink? - - -Not that you're fat I mean, not nearly as fat as he is. Klink is bucking for rat fink. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Carry on, but quietly, I have lots of work to do. Since when is he running this prison camp? Newkirk: Jawohl, Herr General! Col. Wilhelm Klink: I do. I was playing pinochle with Captain Broomschmeel. Hochstetter: Why not? [Hochstetter pulls out gun] Me leaving. I think the general's going to be ill - deathly ill. Newkirk, we have a job for the Mighty Hogan Art Players. Hans Georg Schultz: [savoring the irony] All this beauty! General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Your career is a delicate matter. Having to relay orders of a man like that. : Hochstetter meanwhile has called Himmler, explains the situation and receives orders to arrest Klink's "dear friend" Richter, to which Klink insists that he hardly knows him and that he has no dear friends, a fact which Hochstetter is willing to believe. Andrew Carter: I yell and scream at him, call him a few twelve-letter names, and if he still gives me an argument, I think of something else. It's going like clockwork. You're not arranging right now for Zagoskin to escape to Russia? Col. Wilhelm Klink: You have practically ensured the success of the "Klink Plan". : And I am operating UNDER DIRECT AUTHORITY OF THE GERMAN GENERAL STAFF. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I consider it the perfect oversight. He took me for 50 marks. Demolished the building, wiped out the garrison, killed Kommandant Hedrick, knocked the Fuhrer's picture off the wall and everything. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I taught him everything he knew about flying. : General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: But, uh where is there to go in a prison camp?
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